AltWeeklies Wire

Top 10 reasons why I should be on the cover of SN&Rnew

Our readers compete, without mercy, in the category of shameless self-promotion.
Sacramento News & Review  |  Staff  |  12-09-2011  |  Culture

Animated Cartoon: Git-Mo Help

President Obama says he can't close Guantanamo because he doesn't know where to send the detainees. How about a free-market solution to this conundrum: the Gitmo Helpers servant service!
Maui Time  |  Ted Rall and David Essman  |  10-13-2009  |  Cartoons

Did Obama Just Surrender Europe to the Russians?new

Although I was repeatedly warned by my patriotic brothers and sisters via conservative media and countless e-mails that begin "FW:" about how Obama is a secret Commie planning to destroy the U.S. from within, I chose to dismiss the warnings as hysterical fear-mongering. Well, it turns out the fear-mongerererers were right and I was wrong. I admit it.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta)  |  Andisheh Nouraee  |  09-22-2009  |  Commentary

Good Mama: Pondering Motherhoodnew

Four weeks ago I shot my own little "chick-let" out of my vagina and unceremoniously became someone’s parent. Although I've had almost a month to get used to the idea, I still sit around my house and scream, "Holy Crap! I have a kid!" at least once a day.
Jackson Free Press  |  Lori Gregory  |  07-26-2009  |  Comedy

Converter-Box Conspiracynew

It's been one week since the digital television transition deadline. Did you get your analog-to-digital converter box yet?
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  06-26-2009  |  Comedy

Ask a Mexican: Are You Still Beating Your Senora?new

Loaded question aside, Mexican men are infamous for spousal abuse in the gabacho mind partly out of stereotype (the machismo cult, the most misunderstood cultural tendency since the American love of empire-building), but also partly out of truth.
OC Weekly  |  Gustavo Arellano  |  06-16-2009  |  Comedy

Team-Building Bowling Leads to Plastic Heels and Smoke Machinesnew

Seemingly tame bowling shenanigans involving two hours of light ribaldry, the greased-up wings of dead chickens and innumerable buckets of beer are usually a gateway to somebody sexually falling into somebody else in the bushes outside a karaoke bar, and, with any luck, some inappropriate behavior featuring nudity and very blue language. Let the games begin.
Orlando Weekly  |  Billy Manes  |  05-21-2009  |  Comedy

Turkey Terror Talenew

It was anything by Tom foolery for an alternative journalist attacked by wild turkeys in an historic Brookline, Massachusetts park. Film at 11.
Boston Phoenix  |  Lance Gould and Emily Mello  |  05-14-2009  |  Comedy

Pregnant with Possibilitiesnew

Columnist Lori Gregory reports from her 11 millionth month of pregnancy.
Jackson Free Press  |  Lori Gregory  |  05-11-2009  |  Comedy

Fighting the Pig Cootiesnew

How will the Mexican Pig Cooties affect financially challenged urban residents?
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  05-11-2009  |  Comedy

When Polar Bears Attack ... You!new

Here's how you can try to live through the polar bear invasion -- even though, to be perfectly honest, you probably won't survive, so nice knowing you, I guess.
The Portland Mercury  |  Erik Henriksen  |  05-07-2009  |  Animal Issues

How to Rise Above (and Below) with an Undersized Membernew

For as long as I can recall, I have rooted for the little guy, such as Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia. Dustin doesn't have much height. Nor does he have much girth. But Dustin is living his dream, and I keep clinging to mine: Someday I will become the Dustin Pedroia of the adult film industry.
New York Press  |  Raymond Cavanaugh Jr.  |  04-23-2009  |  Sex

Finance Pimpin'new

Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride and Cootie McBride report on the disturbance caused when the Finance Pimp showed up to take a house back.
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  04-16-2009  |  Comedy

Hair Stimulusnew

Hair Did University has received needed funding from the Ghetto Stimulus Package.
Jackson Free Press  |  Ken Stiggers  |  04-09-2009  |  Comedy

Plight of a Sports Widownew

Learning to love hearing "play ball" is one way to deal with a sports-fanatic man.
Jackson Free Press  |  Lori Gregory  |  04-03-2009  |  Comedy

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