AltWeeklies Wire
Blisternew
We could have done so much better than this. All that promise of youth -- the flecked shiny bits in polyurethane roller-skate wheels beaming reflections into personal Xanadus.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-30-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor, Gibson Guitar VIP Showroom
Terrible Terry Tackles the Issuesnew
When Sarah Palin's interviews with Katie Couric first aired, people rushed to defend or condemn her. But one man opted for the blitz package instead.
Boston Phoenix |
UJonathan Seitz |
10-30-2008 |
Commentary
Dress the Vice Presidential Candidatesnew
Forget the $150,000 that the Republican National Committee spent on Sarah Palin's campaign wardrobe: Now you can dress the veep hopefuls for much, much less, and in styles that best reflect their inner vice president.
INDY Week |
Lisa Sorg |
10-30-2008 |
Commentary
The Concession Speech John McCain Didn't Givenew
"Yes, I spoke to Barack Hussein Grendel Pontius Pilate Obama on the telephone, and it was strange, for this phone was small and it had no visible wires or coils. And the buttons lit up. And I congratulated the senator for running a ... campaign. It's not easy to run a campaign, and he did, and I mean that."
Philadelphia City Paper |
John McCain |
10-29-2008 |
Commentary
We Deserve Better than Sarah Palinnew
Here's the point: I'm tired of pretending Palin isn't a moron. She is a moron. She's dumber than a sack full of hammers.
Colorado Springs Independent |
Rich Tosches |
10-28-2008 |
Commentary
If I Only Was McCainnew
To be sung to the tune of "If I Only Had a Brain."
New Haven Advocate |
Christopher Arnott |
10-28-2008 |
Commentary
Blister: At the Come Out With Pride Paradenew
The first year that the gay parade morphed from a trickle of 4x4s outside Club Firestone to the overpopulated- yet-declawed Lake Eola version, I was pampered in a free-drinks, air-conditioned tent with Savannah as we prepared a running dialogue of "Yayyyyyy!" and "Wowwww!" to suit our vaunted MC positions.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-23-2008 |
Comedy
The Orlando Police Beatnew
Oct. 9, 7:55 a.m.: Your humble columnist has had a hell of a week, and to be perfectly honest pounding out this mush is just about the last thing in the world he wants to do right now. But duty calls, and like Frederic in The Pirates of Penzance (that's the only musical I know, swear to God), I answer.
Orlando Weekly |
Jeffrey C. Billman |
10-23-2008 |
Crime & Justice
Blister: This is What It's All Come Down Tonew
SThe plate tectonics of our oversized socioeconomic structure have screeched and scratched against each other one too many times, pressing hairline fractures into gaping voids and smashing the jagged slabs of our seemingly solid foundations willy-nilly across the arid landscape.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-17-2008 |
Comedy
Blisternew
Sometimes I wish everything could go a little more smoothly. Cracking a glance at my visage in the mirror this morning, I feel the sudden urge to cover myself in khaki and pull out a chisel while simultaneously wiping my brow and staring at the sun.
Orlando Weekly |
Billy Manes |
10-17-2008 |
Comedy
Politics Risingnew
Boneqweesha Jones: "You're watching Ghetto Science Television's popular morning show Good Morning Ghetto. The GMG news team and I have another controversial show for you.
Jackson Free Press |
Sue Doh Nem |
10-17-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor
Moodswing: Sex with George Clooneynew
And other acts of farewell.
Creative Loafing (Atlanta) |
Hollis Gillespie |
10-08-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor
The Orlando Police Beatnew
Sept. 20, 4:20 a.m.: Before we get down to business, I have some housekeeping to take care of. I've learned two things this past week: One, this column has a dedicated following of potheads. Two, I could never be a drug dealer, on account of the fact that I can't do simple math.
Orlando Weekly |
Jeffrey C. Billman |
10-07-2008 |
Crime & Justice
Fighting For Gas and Their Livesnew
Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented mostly by two members of the McBride family: Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, myself and I."
Jackson Free Press |
Sue |
10-06-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor
Moodswing: Acclimation Processnew
Is there a way to prepare for making out with movie stars?
Creative Loafing (Atlanta) |
Hollis Gillespie |
10-01-2008 |
Comedy
Tags: humor, celebrities
